Crossroads... ... ...

So whilst on this quest of self I have also realised that I might be at one of those critical moments in my life... ... ... at the crossroads. I've gone back and forth about this and that and each time I have come back to where I started... ... ... at the point of confusion, fear and uncertainty.

I have quite a number of decisions to make, decisions that will change quite a number of things in my life; all spheres of my life. Of course, usually with every decision made there is an expected change. Maybe this is one of the places where it all begins. I am not exactly a change embracing kind of person. Once I am in a nice comfy familiar place I don't want to leave, I don't want to try out that other something cause it just might ruin everything.{this is except for things that spark an adrenaline rush like trying something exciting. I am looking forward to trying out bungee jumping. Will let you know if I ever go through with it ;) }

But life is full of all this; decision making, change, surprises, joy, pain... a cocktail of things. That's why it is important to take one day at a time. However, there are moments in life when it feels like taking one day at a time is too little a dose to heal all the discomfort and take away the pain. Sometimes you have a handful of days to worry about, to plan for, to consider......

Yet true, there is only so much you can handle at a time, there is only so much you can take, there is only so much you can foresee if at all you can.

I must say I am growing tired of the twirling and tossing and mixing and fretting, worrying and wondering. Someone carried all these burdens for me I have no idea why I am hustling with it myself. I'll confess that I've tried to leave it all for Him to take care of but every now and then I succumb to the temptation to take a peep. You know how one thing leads to another, after I peep I go, " Oh my God, look! it's all still perched right there!" and the cycle begins all over again, then again I get to the "I give up" point and recommit it all to Him once again.

I am tired of this cycle too, I want to be able to just let go and let God. I want to be able to completely believe and trust that His got it all covered and that I don't have to wear my brain out trying to figure out too many things. It's important to think through things, to weigh options, to look at various factors in order to make the right decisions; but I also believe it is more important to keep sane.

I am choosing to lay it all down, believe, trust, have faith, hope and accept that there is only so much I can handle or do; that the rest is taken care of... all I have to do is be still and  listen for His voice to guide me.

I am taking one day at a time......

:)

...hope you are too ;-)